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2004 Grobe & Brewer

You've got a hetro life
With some boring wife
But I know deep down you're a Liar
'Cause you go to the gym "for the workout"
And watch Sigfried and Roy "for the tigers"

You've built your walls
So straight and tall
But no barrier can protect you
Now your hetro town's
Burning to the ground
And I'm swooping down to erect you

You think you're straight
But just you wait!

You've gone round the world
With all kinds of girls
You're a man's man well that's what I'm hopin'
Just some words from me
And a six-pack or three
We'll see how far your principles open

You're built to breed
'Til I plant the seed


Your straightness...shall begin to ebb
Once you're my pink web
Eye of newt...and hair of style
And while you're at it...sniff this vial!

Wing of bat and line of meth
(and take this mint--it's for your breath)
Warming up where you once froze
Feel the rhythm--strike a pose

Here's your lotion--and your cream
Welcome to the other team
Smooth of chest and bare of thigh
Plucked of brow and queer of eye

Presto change-o...NOW--YOU'RE--GAY!

You're a soldier man
From Afghanistan
Don't ask don't tell me you don't want some
Just take my hand
And I'll have you stand-
-ing at full attention in a condom

You'll kick and scream
'Til you're on my team

You think you're straight
But just you wait!